Nessie
by raspberrycheesecake
Summary: "Have you made your decision?" - Nessie is given a huge decision to make, but when both choices will end in pain for people she loves, which choice is the right one? Summary sucks, I know. This story, title and content, is a work-in-progress. Feel free to give me any pointers. I could use them!
1. 6 Years Later

Chapter 1 – 6 Years Later

**Disclaimer: Everything recognisable belongs to Stephenie Meyer.**

**A/N: I started a fanfiction a few months ago, but it wasn't turning out like I'd hoped and I was so busy with personal problems that I found I'd never got around to updating. So, I'm starting again from scratch. Here's hoping it turns out better this time. **

Renesmee's POV

_They stared at me with their bright red eyes. Their perfect faces smiled wickedly at me. The pack growled from behind me. My mum stood protectively, with her arm in front of me. I no longer felt like the six year old in the sixteen year old's body. I was once again the frightened 3 month old child. We all just stood, poised for battle. No-one initiated it, though. The only sounds were the heartbeats and breaths from the wolves and myself. We remained in that position for several minutes. After what seemed like an eternity, one of them stepped forward. He removed his hood and spoke. "Renesmee, what a pleasure it is. You have grown into a fine young woman. So, have you made your decision?"_

I woke with a start. Sweat poured down my forehead, while my heart beat rapidly. Struggling to catch my breath, I used my duvet to wipe away the sweat that drenched my body. I heard movement outside my door. Of course, my parents have heart my racing heartbeat and realised I was having a nightmare. Even if they hadn't, my dad would have told my mum anyway.

_Come in_, I thought. I still wasn't sure my breathing was calm enough for me to speak. I reached for my mother's hand. _I'm fine, really_. I told her through my gift. The look in her eyes told me that she didn't believe me. I couldn't blame her really. If my daughter screamed and thrashed in her sleep, to, I wouldn't believe she was fine either. I really was, though. In fact, the only issue was that I was thirsty. Very thirsty. My thoughts went to the last time I'd hunted. It had been almost 3 weeks since I'd gone, no wonder I was so thirsty. Before I'd even blinked, both of my parents had left the room, presumably to get me blood.

With my breathing now calmer, I pulled myself out of bed and dragged myself over to the mirror. I looked awful. Well at least by my standards I did. My skin looked a shade paler than usual, my hair was lifeless and there were faint dark circles forming under my eyes. The lack of blood had taken all of the colour out of my lips and cheeks, so much so that I actually looked like a full vampire.

After dropping my pyjamas into the washing basket, I hopped into the already-warm shower. I grabbed my strawberry scented shampoo and conditioner off the side and lathered it through my hair. I felt far more relaxed and calm than when I'd first woken up. "There's a bottle of deer on the side, for when you get out", my mum said as she left the bathroom. I didn't even realise she had come in, damn vampires with their silent footsteps.

As I stepped out of the shower and onto my white bathmat, I reached over and grabbed the large bottle from the shelf and took a large swig. It was delicious, as it travelled down my throat. It wasn't quite enough to completely quench my thirst, but it would suffice. Putting down the now empty bottle, I reached over and grabbed my cotton towel from the rail and wrapped it around me as I walked over to the mirror to inspect my appearance again.

The blood had made my skin look far better again. The dark circles were virtually gone and my cheeks and lips had some colour already. My hair, while still wet, wasn't as lifeless as it had been when I'd first woke up and my face was no longer covered in sweat. I looked far healthier than I had first thing.

After grabbing my hairdryer and hair brush from my drawer, I pulled half my hair into one of the hair bobble's I keep on my wrist. I then began to dry my hair while brushing through it. I always have to do in separate sections now, since it's so long and thick. I love it, though, so I work hard to keep it in good condition. After finishing drying my hair, I got my hair straighteners out. I rarely straighten my hair, but I need a distraction from what I know will happen today. With my hair dried, brushed and straightened. I moved on to doing my make-up, not that I really need it. It was all just a distraction.

I started with some concealer under my eyes, before a thin layer of foundation and some light blush. I then piled on several coats of waterproof mascara, not that I needed it, not with my already thick, black eyelashes. Having finished my make-up, I went into my walk-in wardrobe to pick out an outfit for the day.

I turned my iPod on, and _Trading Heartbeats _by _Every Avenue _blasted through my speakers. I danced around my closet, as I put my clothes on. I picked out a pair of navy blue skinny jeans, a black tank top and a black hoodie. I picked out my black converses, too and pulled them on as _We Weren't Born To Follow _came on. At this point, mum came into the room and started dancing with me; we always did this on this day. It was her way of trying to cheer me up.

After we'd danced around the room for a few songs, we went into the kitchen/dining room so I could eat some breakfast. I was hungry, which was unusual for me as I don't really like human food. Dad bought a full English breakfast over, with the bacon and sausages slightly undercooked. I preferred my meat that way. I realised that he'd prepared 2 meals, the other about twice the size of mine, which could only mean one thing. I looked to Dad to ask him, but of course I didn't have to. "He got held up, but don't worry he'll be here in a few minutes". Just as I was about to ask what he'd got held up with, he arrived.

"I smell food!" He said, as he opened the door. He always just walked in and pretty much made himself at home, I didn't mind though. As he sat down at the table, he looked at me with pity. He always did on this day. Everyone knew how this day affects me and so they always sit there and pity me. He opened his mouth to say something.

"Don't". I told him, as I put my plate down, left the table and went out to hunt. Of course, I didn't even get to the door before he was up and standing next to me, ready to go with me. "Please, just don't start. Not today", I told him as I left.

He stayed close, but he'd phased so he could get to me quickly if there were any potential threats. As I got deeper into the forest, I stopped. Closed my eyes and took a deep breath through my nose. I smelled a mountain lion not too far away. Then, felt my feet take off before I'd even opened my eyes. I was no longer Renesmee, out for a hunt. I was a hunter, out for a kill. My sense of smell had completely taken over my entire body. It was close now; I could hear its heartbeat. Suddenly, its heart rate quickened. It had sensed me too. The chase was on.

It jumped off the rock it had been sat on, presumably stalking the baby doe nearby. That deer was of no consequence to me, it was far too small to be worth draining. The mountain lion shot down the hill, in the direction of the river. I zoomed off to the right, over some rocks and ran directly into its path. It was too late now; the animal was left with nowhere to go. As it came into view, I jumped into a low tree, so I was above it and then pounced. My body's entire weight came down on it, and its body collapsed onto the floor. I bit into it's neck and began to drink. It still struggled beneath me though. As I have no venom, I can't poison the animal and take it out easily with one bite. I love the fight it puts up, though.

Once the animal was drained, I got up and checked Jacob was still following, he was, before heading back up to the cottage, where the entire family had all gathered. The grim look on all of their faces immediately alerted me to a problem. "So, who this year?" I asked them, though I already had my suspicions.

After a few minutes silence, it was Emmett who finally answered, "The rest of the nomads as well as Senna, Kachiri and Zafrina". The news that the nomads had backed out was hardly surprisingly. The loss of the Amazon coven was shocking, though. Thinking back to last year, I realised that would leave us with just the Denali coven. If it came to a fight, we would more than likely lose.

I looked to Jacob, who had phased back and materialised in the doorway sometime during this conversation. I tilted my head towards my room. He started walking towards it, but not before dad had grabbed his arm and gave him a stern look. I just rolled my eyes. Dad always did this whenever Jacob came to my room. "Keep the door open", he warned us, before going back to his hushed conversation with the rest of the family.

Once we were both in my room, I put my iPod back on and _Goodbye To You _began playing. I sat next to Jacob on my bed, put my arms around his waist and cried into his shirt while he gently stroked my hair. This had become a ritual for us, every year I would just lie with him and cry. We never spoke. We never had to. Just being together was enough. I guess the imprint bond does that. After I was done crying, I wiped my face on his shirt, relieved that I had put waterproof mascara. He smiled down at me and wiped the last of the tears away with his thumb, while the rest of his hand cupped my face. I slowly closed my eyes and leaned in towards him.

At first he just sat there, frozen, but then his lips began to move as he returned the kiss. He gently pulled my lower lip into his mouth and hand went to his cheek. His other hand wrapped around my waist as the hand that had been cupping my face found its way into my hair. The kiss tasted salty from my tears. That didn't make sense, though. I'd wiped my face. It was only then that I realised I'd started crying again. Jacob must have realised too, because he pulled away and looked at me. "Ness?" he used his old nickname for me, it made me feel safe and happy. _I'm sorry_. I told him using my gift, before pulling away, walking into the bathroom and shutting the door behind me.

I sat on the floor crying softly. I cried for my family and for the friends who lost their lives but mostly, I cried for him. I'd known my feelings for Jacob for so long, yet I chose now to act on them. How stupid of me. I finally knew what I had to do. My decision was made. I just hoped my dad wasn't listening as he wouldn't approve of my choice.

I stood up, re-checked my appearance. Except for slightly puffy eyes and too-red cheeks, I looked presentable. It was a good thing; too, because I'd just heard the Denali's arrive. They were all talking quietly in the living room, just about the weather and things. I turned to the door and opened it. Jacob stood on the other side looking concerned. He opened his arms and walked straight into them and put my little arms around his waist. His 6'7" figure dwarfed my 5'4" body, but being here like this felt right.

We went back over and sat on my bed and he just held me while I thought over the last six years.

_Every year since I was born, on December 31__st__, the Volturi travel to Forks to check on my growth and make sure I'm still capable of remaining undetectable from humans. Then, every year, Aro always makes some comment about how well I'm growing, before asking me if I've made my decision. The choice that I have to make is one he presented to me when he met me for the second time. Either I join the Volturi, or they will slowly kill off the witnesses who came to help me at the original confrontation and any who've helped me since. Some of the ones with gifts were given the option to join the Volturi, an option which some of them took. The rest were slaughtered. Each year, most of the original witnesses (minus the ones the Volturi have killed), have returned to help us should it come to a battle. Since the original confrontation, the Volturi have acquired Benjamin, Maggie and Tia. Tia was only allowed to become a member due to Benjamin's gift being something Aro longed for; he agreed to join only if his mate could too. As well as Aro leaving Amun and Kebi alone and not causing them any harm. Since then, the Volturi had disposed of the majority of the witnesses and most refused to return, for fear they'd be next. I believe that the only reason the Denalis returned each year is due to the guilt they feel because of the part Irina had played in the original confrontation. _

"Ness, you need to wake up, we have to go", Jacob told me as he gently shook me awake. I hadn't even realised I'd fallen asleep. Usually the dreams I have about the Volturi are nightmares, then again, I never have nightmares when Jacob's with me. I looked at the clock, 5pm. This meant they'd be here in an hour. I quickly re-did my laces, while Jacob went to gather the pack.

As I got into the living room, I saw everyone was ready and waiting to go. I looked to them all and gave them a small smile as I went to the back garden, where Jacob was waiting, in wolf form, to give me a ride up to the clearing.

After we arrived, I climbed off his back and went to stand where I'd always stood, slightly behind my parents, with Jacob next to me. The rest of my family, the Denalis and the pack all stood slightly behind us.

They all walked slowly, dramatically into the clearing at exactly 6pm. All of them had their cloaks up and one look at them told me that we were severely outnumbered. If it came to a physical fight, we really didn't stand a chance and I knew who their first target would be. They couldn't hurt my Jacob, not if I could stop it.

Aro stepped forward and removed his hood, quickly followed by the Marcus, Caius and the Guard. "Ah, Renesmee, you get far more beautiful every time I see you. So, have you made your decision?"

I stepped in front of my parents and looked Aro in the face as I took a deep breath in.

"Yes, Aro, I will join you".

**A/N: Just thought I should mention, this was a particularly long chapter for me. Not all chapters will be quite this long!**


	2. I Will Join You

Chapter 2 – I Will Join You

**A/N: To those of you reading this, thank-you. I hope you're enjoying the story so far!**

Renesmee's POV

As soon as the words had left my mouth, chaos ensued. Everyone on our side of the clearing was ranting, saying things like "No, Renesmee, you can't go" and "She doesn't know what she's saying. She's upset", the only person who neither spoke nor howled was my dad. He knew my reasoning, he understood it. He would do the same to save my mum. He basically had, when he'd left her after Jasper tried to harm her.

Meanwhile, the Volturi just looked shocked. I don't think Aro seriously thought I'd even consider it. He quickly recovered, though, because soon he was smiling and laughing. As I looked at the rest of them, they were all looking a little too pleased with themselves, it was rather unnerving. I reached my hand out and grabbed my mum's. _I'm sorry, I love you, but I have to do this_. I told her using my gift, before walking over to Jacob.

He looked like he was about to cry. "I'm sorry, I really am. Goodbye Jakey", I told him through the tears that were pouring down my face. I looked over to the rest of my family, the Denalis and the pack. "Thank-you" was all I could get out. Turning back to my parents, I knew that I'd never be able to say a proper goodbye out loud. So, with one last look, I turned and began to walk across the clearing.

There was a commotion behind me. "Nessie, no! Don't do this, Renesmee! Please!" yelled my mother. I was sure if she could cry, she would be. I turned back to take one last look. My dad was holding her back with great difficulty. In fact, when I looked over everyone, Rosalie was being held back by Emmett, Carlisle was comforting Esme and Alice and Jasper were holding each other close. I could tell he was using his gift, and when I looked over at Jacob I could see why. Collin, Brady, Seth and Embry were all trying to hold him back. He was crying, but you could see the anger in his eyes. The song we'd listened to earlier came back into my head.

_Goodbye to you,_

_Goodbye to everything I knew,_

_You were the one I loved,_

_The one thing that I tried to hold on to_.

How fitting the words were. I truly wished I could hold on to Jacob and not have to leave, but I do. I turned back and continued walking towards my new coven, ignoring the cries from my family and the pained howls from the pack.

The walk felt long and heart breaking. With each step away from my family, it got harder. Every part of my body was telling me to turn back, grab everyone I loved and run as fast as I could in the opposite direction. I kept going, though, I had to. It was my only choice. Losing Jacob forever wasn't an option. I wiped away my tears, on the sleeve of my hoodie, as I came closer to Aro.

I stopped when I was in front of him, he held his hand out for me to take, and I did. He could now see every thought I'd ever had. The memories of the laughter I'd shared with my family and the pack. The tears shed every year when they came, the anger and pain I felt at them for all the people they'd killed. The love I felt for Jacob.

He released my hand and looked to my family, "This has been pleasant, but I'm afraid we must depart. You must all visit some time", was all he said before turning and beginning the journey back to Volterra.

I was struggling to keep up with the speed they were going, a fact which someone must have noticed, because they suddenly slowed to a pace which I could keep up with easily. The walk to their private plane was silent. Other than me, no-one even bothered to breathe.

I looked around at my new coven. All of them were in long cloaks, their hoods had been pulled back up to cover what I knew were flawlessly beautiful faces. We all travelled in a v-shaped formation, with Aro, Caius and Marcus at the front. I was just behind Jane, the scariest member of all. The one who, with one look, could inflict the most terrible pain imaginable. Behind me was Felix, the strongest vampire in existence. Emmett would be stronger than him, if he drank humans, though.

Across from us stood Alec, Jane's twin, the one whose gift can numb all your senses and leave you helpless. Behind him was Demetri, the tracker, and the reason trying to run would be pointless. He could track someone to the ends of the earth and back. I don't know who everyone else was by face, I know that one of them must've been Chelsea, which then meant Afton would be here too and I suspected Renata was somewhere among us. As for the rest, I had no idea.

Finally, we got to a plane in the middle of nowhere. Aro, Caius and Marcus entered first, followed by Felix and Demetri, who went to the cockpit. Nobody else got on, though. Everyone seemed to be waiting for something. Then, both Jane and Alec turned to me and just stared at me. Jane looked annoyed, while Alec just looked amused.

"Get on the plane" Jane told me, through gritted teeth.

"Sister, be nice", Alec told her, smirking. I wasn't sure quite what he was smirking at, though. I stepped past both of them, and got onto the plane. Aro greeted me with a smile and waved his hand to a seat near the back, where I was to be seated for the duration of the flight.

Next on the plane were Jane and Alec, who sat together in the seats closest to the cockpit. They were followed by two women who I didn't recognise; one went to sit next to Aro, the other next to Caius. From this, I drew the conclusion that these two were Athenodora and Sulpicia. Following behind them was a small woman with red hair, who seated herself next to Marcus. I suddenly felt far more relaxed with her on the plane, as did the wives. I realised that this must be Corin.

I lost track of all the other people who got on the plane. There was quite a few of us altogether. I relaxed, looking out the tiny window at the already-dark sky. I felt exhausted, after the long, physically draining day I'd had. I allowed myself to close my eyes and drift into a refreshing, happy dream.

I was awoken by a thud that jerked my whole body. At first I was confused as to where I was and why I wasn't in bed, when I remembered. I'd left with the Volturi. I thought I'd miss my family, though. Yet, I felt completely content being with my new coven. I guess I was meant to be with the Volturi.

I looked out the window and realised the thud must have been us landing. Outside the window, was a gorgeous, huge building which looked perfect. My new home. I smiled at the sight. Everything looked perfect. The sun was shining beautifully over the amazing building. I was pulled out of my trance-like state by Felix's voice.

"Renesmee, welcome to Volterra".


	3. Welcome To Volterra

Chapter 3 – Welcome To Volterra

**A/N: So, I don't have any reviews yet, but I see that people are reading my story. I do like reviews, so please, just one would be nice. It won't put me off writing if I don't get any, though. I write for me, it's just a bonus if people enjoy the story.**

Renesmee's POV

Volterra. I couldn't believe I actually lived here now. It was so perfect. The plane pulled into a large garage-style place, where it stopped. We were out of the sun in here, so there was no chance of being revealed.

Aro raised himself from his seat first, followed by Caius and Marcus. We then filed out in the order we'd arrived in. I already felt that I fitted in; despite the dirty looks Jane had given me the entire time I walked down the plane. It wasn't like it was a long walk that took me a long time; I guess she just didn't approve of my human pace. Or perhaps she just doesn't like me. Neither would surprise me.

Athenodora, Sulpicia and Corin all walked on ahead and walked through what looked like a very thick, locked metal door. It looked like the sort of door even a vampire would struggle to get through. They'd definitely struggle to pass the two bulky vampires standing in front of it, anyway. I guess that was the tower where the wives spent most of their time.

Suddenly, I felt nervous about starting my new life here in Volterra. The castle was no longer a huge, beautiful castle worthy of a Queen. It was a prison. A prison where I was trapped for so long as Aro wished. My life was no longer my own. They owned me.

My heart rate quickened and I struggled to catch my breath. I needed Jacob, but he was back in Forks. He was probably ok without me. I couldn't cope. How could I live without him? It was too hard. I couldn't do it. Life without him meant nothing. _I need my Jacob _was my last thought before everything went black.

Edward's POV

We'd remained standing in the clearing for over an hour before we gave in and realised Renesmee wasn't coming back. I understood why she'd left, but she was still my little girl and it hurt for her to leave. What hurt even more, though, was how broken up Bella was. After Renesmee had disappeared into the forest, with the rest of the Volturi, Bella's legs just seem to have given out and she just sat and screamed for our daughter.

The only person whose pain seemed to rival Bella's was Jacob's. He howled the entire hour before curling into a ball and crying. All his thoughts focused on how painful his life would be without Nessie. How meaningless it would be. There was only one truly coherent thought, though. _I can't live without her_. I wasn't sure if this thought meant that he wanted to give up and end it, or go and get her back. I don't really think he knew, either.

Everyone else's thoughts were filled with shock, sadness and loss. Alice and Jasper left quite soon after Jacob's thoughts took a turn for the worse. I could understand that, too much emotion like that is so overwhelming for Jasper. I think, if it hadn't been for Bella still crying out for Nessie, we'd have left by now.

After Bella had finally realised that Renesmee wouldn't return, she stood up, walked over to me, reached for my hand and entwined our fingers as we ran back towards our cottage. We never spoke. There were no words that either of us could say to make the other feel ok. My mind was flooded with every second of Renesmee's existence, from the day we realised Bella was pregnant, to the goodbye we'd just said in the clearing. It was a few moments before I realised that the memories weren't mine, though. Bella had lifted her shield.

I looked at her questioningly; she rarely lifted it because it was hard work for her. _How could you? You held me back while our daughter left! Our only child. We could have fought them! She is our daughter!_ It had never occurred to me that Bella would be angry with me about that. I thought that maybe she'd understand why Renesmee left and why I held Bella back.

I couldn't explain to her while she was so upset and angry, so when she dropped my hand and ran, I let her go. Choosing to remain in the forest, while Bella went home. We'd never argued since Renesmee had been born. It just wasn't something we did. I mean, yes, sometimes we got frustrated with each other but all was forgiven within a few hours. I had a feeling this would take a lot longer for Bella to forgive, if she ever truly did.

I thought back to when I left Bella, after her 18th birthday. It was the hardest thing I'd ever had to do, yet I'd do it all over again if being with her was going to endanger her again. I was proud of Renesmee for being strong enough to do the same for Jacob, but I miss her so much. In the clearing, my thoughts got so muddled with everyone else's, but out here alone, I realised that my pain was just as bad as Bella's.

Bella was right, how could I hold her back? Maybe we'd have lost some people in a fight, but didn't they all choose to be there? I suppose they did, but if I was to lose Bella in a fight, I wouldn't cope. So I knew Renesmee going was the most selfless thing she could have done. I love my daughter and I'm proud of her. I'll miss her, though.

I thought back over her life, the strong, beautiful, independent woman she was becoming. I hoped she was doing ok in Volterra, I hoped Aro had the sense to use Corin's gift well and, no matter how much of a façade it was, keep Renesmee happy with the new life she was living.

I heard footsteps behind me. Bella had come back. I opened my arms and she ran straight into them. We just stood together in the forest for hours. Just holding each other. I needed to be close to my wife and she needed to be close to me, too. I placed a small kiss on her head, just as she lifted her shield.

Her thoughts told me that, despite still being angry, she needed me right now. I knew how she felt. Through her thoughts, I realised that she just wasn't sad for Renesmee. She was hurting for Jacob, the boy who'd been there for her when I'd left. It was her turn to try to comfort him now, but she didn't know where to start.

"Just go be with him, he probably needs you right now". I told her, as I released my grip on her. She stepped away from my arms and with one last look at me, threw her shield up and ran in the direction of Jacob's scent. As she got further away, her voice travelled back to me.

"Goodbye".


End file.
